Need some help / guidance, feeling like I'm spinning my tires and I need to make a decision and I just don't know what is right. Either choice I make could be right, but also wrong.

***edit, so yeah, it ended up being longer than I intended, but I needed to get it all out*** Basically, thanks to this sucky disease (well 2 actually ulcerative colitis/PSC) I've been going thru the worst year of my life (from when symptoms started), especially these last two months with this flare from hell. The trips to the bathroom are out of control day and night (way worse at night 8-10 trips between midnight to 7 am) little restful sleep, bleeding, pain. The whole 9 yards. I'm losing weight, again. I can't keep anything in, it all shoots thru me so dang fast. And when I try to eat I can only stomach a few bites before I get nauseous or the gut pain gets unbearable, everything seems to be a trigger right now, even water. Constant heartburn at night. I'm anemic AF, I'm weak, I've got zero energy - heck I fall asleep/pass out after work 3-4 nights a week and I can't even stand in the shower. The joint pain gets so bad at night I walk around like a 90-year old (I just turned 35), extreme pain in my heels, knees and hips. Constant headaches, my right eye is getting weird. So that's the health part, now onto the problem. The physical demands from my job (Property Manager at a large apartment complex). Walking the property/units - 3 flights of stairs (some are only two story buildings), 17 buildings, 175 units. Posting notices - once a month to all units, sometimes multiple times in a month. And nearly daily notices that go to random units (between 1-30+ notices a day depending on the issues). Tours - some people want to see multiple units or different floor plans, so it could be walking from one end of the property to the other, up and down stairs. Some days multiple tours in a day. I'm so weak I get winded just going to one building (I get winded just walking to my apartment each day), and just going up and down the stairs is agony on the lower half of the body. Not to mention the fear of not being near a restroom if the sudden urge arrives. Most weekends I'm so worn out I stay in bed / sleep most of the day, or only make it as far as the living room chair. If I'm lucky I might might have the energy to leave my apartment for an hour or two, but that's weeks between. Since the switch over to the new company (new corporate office) I've had no insurance. So I've had to cancel all my doctor's appointments since November 1st when old insurance ended - cant afford to see my Gastroenterologists or Hepatologists (for PSC) paying out of pocket is out of the question. I'm down to one week's worth of meds for both conditions because again, can't afford out of pocket for refills. New company gave me my paperwork to fill out on Dec 1st. And they still haven't got it activated, nor does it sound like they will until at least February. I just don't know what to do. Physically I don't think I can handle this job anymore. Stress wise it is killing me - there is just sooooooooo freaking much stress involved in this job and taking over as manager has increased it 10 fold. And I know that it is why this flare has been so bad. If I quit, I lose my apartment (72 hours to move), not having a job will make it impossible to qualify to rent anywhere else and I don't even know if I could physically handle the moving part of moving at this point. Trying to get a placed lined up before so I can move first, but it has been nearly impossible. They will fight unemployment if I quit. If I stay long enough to see my doctor she will probably tell me I need to change jobs. But at least it will be medically required and they can't fight my unemployment, but if it takes another month or two to get my insurance. I fear the thought of how much worse my health could get between now and then. Or even if it will get to the point where they fire me because I can't do the job anymore (in an At-Will state so they can fire for no reason). Ahhhhhhh I just don't see a good option and I just don't know what to do.

4 Answers

b_birnbaum
Answered 8 months ago    reply

I'm to the point were I want to say F-it, I'm eating a Mcdonalds burger and don't care that it will put my flare into overdrive for several days. I need comfort food. (but not hot dogs, I've learned that lesson).


dunlop_83
Answered 8 months ago

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alycia.curious
Answered 8 months ago    reply

Talk to your employer and see if you can get some reasonable accommodations made. See if one of the leasing agents can take over more of the tours, can maintenance drop off the apt notices, can you get one of the little golf cart things to drive around, etc. Also, letting them know you need insurance due to your medical condition may help get them to push it through finally.


jacquline
Answered 8 months ago    reply

Go back to basics with food so you can tolerate eating.. Chicken broth, cooked white rice. So sorry you are going through all this. Try talking with your employer.


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