Years ago when my husband was first diagnosed I decided to not fret about the things lost, but rather celebrate the things retained. For the most part this has served me well. Lately though it has been more difficult to be totally supportive. We just celebrated 36 years of marriage.

It is not fair what this disease has robbed us of.

15 Answers

agnus2
Answered 1 year ago    reply

I understand


heise74
Answered 1 year ago    reply

It’s definitely a very heartbreaking disease.


novoa79
Answered 1 year ago    reply

Hugs. Love your attitude. I wished I had it.

hoa41
HoaOP
Answered 1 year ago    reply

It may sound un caring, but on really difficult days I pretend that I am just his care taker. I pretend that I am being paid to do this & when my shift is over I get to go home to a normal life. It helps though to remove my breaking heart for a while, and leave it where it cannot be bruised more. Of course reality returns eventually.

novoa79
Answered 1 year ago    reply

I may try that. We have been married 40 years and I struggle to adapt to the new him. He is really struggling with his anger.

hoa41
HoaOP
Answered 1 year ago    reply

My husband fortunately does not have anger problems, at this time anyway.


torrenceliane68
Answered 1 year ago    reply

I am so with you. Similar to us... both of us are trying so hard, but small slices of him are going nearly daily. I even noticed, that he starts looking similar to a man living with him in the care facility, when he smiles in a way , he never did bevore. It is really heartbraking.


kinsey
Answered 1 year ago    reply

Totally understand! I am finding it very hard to cope at present but at least I have had 57 very happy years and feel guilty that I am finding it hard to cope.

hoa41
HoaOP
Answered 1 year ago    reply

How can it be easy to cope though? Parts of the one you love are being chipped away & although he may bear a resemblance to your husband, he is a different, dependant person. I feel like my husband is no longer my protector , he is a 56 year old man that needs me to do everything for him. Nancy Reagan called this the long goodbye, very apt. All you caretakers, you have my complete admiration. I am walking in your shoes & the journey is very lonely.

p.whitmer91
Answered 1 year ago    reply

You should not feel guilty. It IS very hard to cope and that is why you have wisely decided to share with people in similar situations. You are not alone and all those who go through this understand you.


miley
Answered 1 year ago    reply

You are right to stay strong in love friend , you will never regret it as some who've chosen other . Please get help if you can . Be sure to let dr know when you need more medication to remove anger , confusion, fear (anxiety on a high level ) . Without knowing your limit some drs won't give the right medication.


kinsey
Answered 1 year ago    reply

My husband has been put on a new medication and it is helping a lot as he doesn’t fret and worry nearly as much, and I can get my sleep at night.


miley
Answered 1 year ago    reply

Liane is a good one to listen to concerning her kick butt way of standing strong .


gatlin
Answered 1 year ago    reply

So sad i watch my poor mom struggle with my dad every day. It sure dose suck. Every now and then he has a moment when he might say there's my beautiful daughter or remembers my mom for a fraction of a minute. The love those two have for each other is Unbeleivable as i believe my dad would of done the same for my mom. They will be married 65 years this month.


holland
Answered 1 year ago    reply

that's a great attitude, and don't be too hard on yourself when the reality sets in on you. This journeys come in stages. Aside from my Aunt and mom with dementia, I have an adult son with Muscular Dystophy, a terminal illness. He's 28 and far outlived his prognosis. we try to celebrate that we've had him for "another Christmas" or "another birthday " . BUT , there's always that nagging that it might be our "last".... so every day, every memory, every event is bittersweet. We cling to the peace that comes from knowing we will meet again in heaven and sing praises to the Lord together. God bless you as you balance your joys with your sorrows.


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